from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
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