Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
