"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
