you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize