So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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