How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
