I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
