I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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