I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
