I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
