Jerry, you need to find god
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize