I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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