I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
