OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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