I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
