When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
