Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
