there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
this hospital has no fireball
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
