Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
