Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize