Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
