PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
