Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
