I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
