My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
