it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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