So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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