Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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