Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
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