I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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