I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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