"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
