Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?

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(513): View more from Ohio

Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?

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(512): View more from Texas

And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes

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(352): View more from Florida

I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.

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(636): View more from Missouri

The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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(501): View more from Arkansas

So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...

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(309): View more from Illinois

remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..

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(716): View more from New York

I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.

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