You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
