People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Randomize
