i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
