Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
