Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
