Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
