dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
