Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
