Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
