i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize