You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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