do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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