and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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