did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
People in love make me want to vomit
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize