forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
