After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
