yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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