call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
