Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
