Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
