Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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