So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
