I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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