He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
