I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
