Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
