why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
