I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
