I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
