Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
